Anon, from the bottom of my heart: breathe. It kind of breaks my soul reading you torture yourself like this, for something that makes absolutely no sense.
Disgusting for being in fandom? Too old for M rated fics? You think you should leave?
Whoever put these thoughts in your head, please, stop listening to them, because they don’t have the slightest idea of what they’re talking about, and I don’t know why you’re giving it any credit when to even remotely entertain the idea that you cannot participate in fandom past the age of 20 you need to ignore the entire history of Fandom. Like, completely erase it all even while you live in it.
Who do you think pays for Ao3 domain and server? Who’s the majority that has the economical independence to support it every year? Who organizes conventions? Hosts panels? Who writes the vast majority of explicit fics? Who writes the canon every fandom is built upon?
I’ll save you the trouble of guessing the answer: it’s not minors.
I’ve received enough messages about people complaining about ageism in fandom, but it’s the first time I’ve read about someone who’s really buying into this absurd idea that is so entirely drenched in misogyny. Don’t let it get to you, please. Who have you interacted with till now? I cannot count the sheer amount of incredible fandom peeps over the age of 30 and 40 and 50 and 60 I have met without even looking for them, because they’re everywhere. They’re the backbone and legs and arms and head of Fandom as a whole, I don’t know how you could have missed them.
And you know the greatest thing about being an adult?
That so long as you’re not breaking any law, you can do whatever you want and no one can say nor do anything about it. And if they don’t like it, they can die mad about it.
I think you might be forgetting this little detail.Honestly, as an ‘older woman’, I’m perfectly fine and content here and I’m not going anywhere for as long as I’ll find fandom fun. You have all the freedom and the means to stay as well, provided that you stop sabotaging yourself like this.
OMG this is so fucking sad. Too old for adult rated fic at TWENTY-SIX? Two old how? To write fic? To have sexual story ideas and share them? Most cis women don’t come close to reaching their sexual peak (highest period of interest in it and enjoyment of it) until their 30s.
And if minors (which some people seem to define as up to 21 for some reason) shouldn’t enjoy explicit fanfic, and if women over 26 shouldn’t enjoy it either, then that leaves, what, a 5-year-window? Give it some rational thought, and you can see how completely absurd and ridiculous that is.
Anyway, I’m 49, I didn’t start writing fanfic until I was 30 (I wrote other things before that and still do in addition to it) and I’m not going anywhere as long as I’m still having fun with it, which I am. And I can say from experience, the best thing about getting older is that as time goes by, you care less and less about what judgy mcjudgyface twits think about you and your harmless pleasures. You’re born with all the fucks to give about that you will ever have, and by my age, you have virtually none left. I wish you many decades to come (heh) of enjoying fandom and fanfic, and life gets so much better after fuck-o-pause.
@vulgarweed I whole heartedly agree with you about life getting better after the fuck o pause…..
I found fandom at 21, wrote my first fic at 26, and am 38 now.
My personal experience of fandom has been that there are tons and tons and tons of non-teenagers in it. All of my closest friends came out of fandom and they’re all around my age. The perception that fandom is entirely kids is so perplexing to me, since it’s so the opposite of my experience. Do I know fans younger than me? Of course. Do I *expect* everyone to be younger than me? Not at all.
And I guess if kids think I’m too old for fandom, well, they don’t know yet how fast you get to be the old ones lol
I found fandom at 53, wrote my first fic at 55, and am 67 now. Not that I didn’t have things I loved, but no-one else I knew thought Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin were boyfriends, or thought Spock and Kirk were in love, or any of the other possibilities of my childhood and young adulthood, so I just put it all aside until the internet brought me all of you. For which I will be eternally grateful.
The notes on this post make me incredibly happy.
I’m 38. Dear anon, your best fangirl days are still to come!
I’ve grown up with fandom, I’m about to turn 30 and I don’t plan on changing how I interact with media any time soon.
oh man. one of the things that’s drastically changed since i first joined fandom is the idea that fandom is for teenagers. back when i first found fandom (in the mid nineties) fandom spaces were understood to be for adults, mostly 20s-40s, and teens were not seen as the norm, and fandom was not For The Kids. They were present but it was not A Teen Space. Anyway I am 42 now, and the idea that this thing I love is only for kids is not one I started fandom with, and I hope people don’t feel like they have to give up what they love because it’s only for teens. It’s really only been since the shift to Tumblr as a platform that this idea even took root imo.
Nothing to add but a resounding fvck yeah to the idea that the best days of fandom are yet to come when you are older. You stop caring about so so many useless thing and embrace all the fun you can have in fandom.
Being a fandom elder rocks. No shame in this game. When I first joined fandom many years ago all the cool kids were in their 30s and 40s and taught me everything I knew. They held the history of fandom and knew how to stay safe and sane and happy. They welcomed us into this world of amazing women-led and queer-centered networks and traditions. Fandom is for everyone. You can always come back to it at any age. It’s here whenever you need it. Never forget that.
Fandom is life
